Ty’s top 10 reasons why we can’t be friends (in no particular order)

You haven’t heard of Chicken Toobs or Muncheros and therefore cannot support their return.

Sadly, my search for Chicken Toobs on Google images generated 0 results.  So I have done my best to generate an almost exact replica of this wonderful product.

You smoke in non-smoking venues

You think Faker, Sia and Mumford and Sons are “not sell-outs”.

After looking at the word “sold” for awhile it starts to trip you out, I thought I had spelt it wrong, do you get that?

You wear thongs/sandals or any open toed shoe with socks or stockings.  I don’t care if your name IS Mark Zuckerberg your number won’t be in my phonebook.

You spend your days hating on Justin Bieber.  Nobody thinks you’re amusing.

You think that Mel from Packed to the Rafters’ death was sad.  Mate nobody wants to work with Hugh Sheridan after he released that crappy album.  If you want quality Australian drama I’ll lend you my All Saints DVD’s.

Looks like Zoe is doing just fine but Hugh’s music career seems to be headed downhill.

You think it’s Ok to use your debit card at 7-11.  What’s convenient about that?

You use a Vespa.  You don’t look cool you look like you’re using an electronic wheelchair, which bring me to ask; Why can’t electronic wheelchair users ride on the road too?

You work as one of those fundraiser people with the blue clipboards and stand outside various areas of the city and LAX and physically harass people. I’d rather go for an icebath in Alaska.

You wear leggings.  They don’t look cool they just make your calves look bigger than your thighs which is just epeecrey.

Think I missed anything?  Let me know!